Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

What is your name? My name is Jeff

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...