Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Charlie Sheen

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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