Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops