Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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George W. Bush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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