Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops