Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops