Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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