A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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What's half of 8? o

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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