Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Charlie Sheen

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Granny porn!

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops