Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

The diamond one below is hilarious.

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...