Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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i had sex.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops