What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

All of these jokes are about white people

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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