Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

Justin Bieber.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

[Set up] [No punch line]

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...