stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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