If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops