Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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