how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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