Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

I read the terms of service.

Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

LOL

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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