A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Girls Lacrosse.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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