What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops