Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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