- Anti Joke

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

You know what's funny? Rape

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

What do you call a black man? A person

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops