A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

Why did the white boy not make his high school basketball team? Because he was not as good as the other players.

A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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