Tucker Rivera

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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What? Huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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