Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops