What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems rhyme This doesn't.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Penis.

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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