Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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