Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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