How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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