Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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What's 9+10? 19.

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops