A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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