Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

joke under this line wins _________________________

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops