How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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