what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops