Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

Obama

Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? A. yeah, that's a really big step, quitting smoking is tough

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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