-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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penis?

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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