Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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