What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Derp

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Safe sex MR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops