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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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