What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops