- Anti Joke

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? thunk

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

A man makes a sandwich.

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? thunk

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What do you get hanging from an apple tree? Sore Arms.

Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

A man makes a sandwich.

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

What do you call a black person with white legs ? Ashy

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? thunk