A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

Pinus Testicles

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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