Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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How can you tell that your friend just had sex with a blonde? The girl he just had sex with has blonde hair.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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