Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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Ron Paul for President!

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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