What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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