'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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This is a joke setup.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Snarf Nuggets

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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