What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

A cow says moo and explodes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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