How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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all these jokes suck ass

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Butt Sex.

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Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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