What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Women's rights

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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