A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Stephen Walking.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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