A blind man sits down to read Anti jokes Whoops my bad

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The 13th Amendment...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops